A Gift of the White Elephant Kind

One of my far favorite posts done by a blogger know as Cloud Watcher (Allie Tuttle) has to be her Missing Person post

It reads (sorry for just using your work Allie but I'm going to steal it okay? Okay):   " I'm sorry I abandoned you and grew up. Where did you go? "

This line struck me like a sore thumb. And knowing what I've done in the past. I'm going to write a response to her post hopefully she won't get offended at what I have written.

"I'm right here right beside you,
playing hide and seek right behind you.
You never lost track of me you just don't have enough time to play. I understand.
We all can't be playing all the time.

But you still make room for me. We're still the kid that we once were.

We'll forever be fighting alongside dragons and be casting magic spells on foolish beings that come in our path.

But there are times when I do hide. And you can barely find me. But I still give hints as to where I am

During class I'm always laughing and I'm always sketching and doodling.

And yet you say that you still can't find me. That's because you're using your mind to search outwardly. You're not using your heart to search inwardly. I'll always be there with you just holding onto your hand."

Allie you're a child at heart, and you never abandoned your self, you're just playing hide and seek.

But you're getting closer. Stay on this trail and you'll find that silly child again.

Thank you for all the laughs and thank you for being you

Black Out

Popeye's Message

As a famous cartoon character once said "I am what I am and that's all that I am"

So this is what I am, 

I am friend,

I am a man,

I'm a Netflix binge watcher,

And I'm a sucker for sweets,

I am a music-holic, (can't get enough of it)

I am a blade collector,

I'm a The Office fanatic

And I'm a gentleman at heart,

I was in dire need of glasses since 2011,

I was a theater kid,

I was optimistic about my future, but now I can usually see the negative outcome to everything, but that doesn't stop me from smiling,

I love using different names,

I changed my hair color, just because I was bored.

I call my girlfriend Vwin from time to time.

I can tell when someone is having a rough day, 

And I try to be the reason to make it better.

This part might ruin the feel of this post, but I feel like it'll add more to it.

I told my sister that reincarnation is real, but it happens everyday, everyday we die, and every morning we are born anew. We never are the same as the day before, and we'll never be the same again either.

I also told her that I didn't have a voice in the family. That everyone would shush me, even myself. That I'd been a walking shell of a being. But here I have my own voice, I can say things that I want to say.

And now this persona that I have used has filled that shell.

I am the guy with purple knuckles, (long story short I wash my hands too much and people as me why my knuckles are purple)

I am the guy with glasses,

And I am the guy with platinum hair

Slender Auditore is the voice that I needed, to fill up this shell.

I am Slender Auditore.

And I am Gil Lamoureux.

And I'm pleased to make your acquaintance.

Lyrics of my Life

So scream if you wanna, shout if you need. Just let it go
Fight if you need to, smash if it helps you
Get control. - Thousand Foot Krutch

Don't look in her eyes
You might fall and find the love of your life, - Volbeat

Call it in the air,
Heads or tails,
Heads we go to London
And try to save the Queen
Tails we go to Paris,
And try our hand at romance, - Hotspur

I said I'm OK but I know how to lie,
You were all that I had,
You were delicate and hard to find,
I got lost in the back of my mind,
And I can never get back, no I never got back - Yellowcard

Though the marks on your dress
Had been neatly repressed
I knew that something was wrong
And I should have spoke out
And I’m so sorry now
I didn’t know
'Cause we were so young
Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away - The Offspring

'Round and around I'd go, addicted to the numb
Living in the cold
The higher, the lower the down, down, down
Sick of being tired and sick of waiting
For another kind of fix
The damage is damning me down, down, down - Adam Lambert

First we run
And then we laugh 'til we cry
But when the night is falling
You cannot find the light, light
You feel your dreams are dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go - New Radicals

Born Free, It's America!
Best Stuff, It's America!
High Five, It's America!
Watch Out, It's America! - Con Bro Chill

2 Comments

"Hey look I have an email."

This one goes out to the Bloggers that only got only 2 comments. Here's to the ones that Blogs don't get all the view that it wants.

"Hey look I have a new comment."

This one goes out to the ones that don't have the courage to post a comment about the ones that they truly want to.

"Let's see what is say."

Here's to the ones that want comments. No matter how many you got. Then that's how many you got. Get over it.

"And it says... "Good post""

Heart and soul

Can you hear that? That's called a heart beat, It's what helps that wonderful idiot work.

You're standing there in the aisles between the food and the clothes. There it is, that one toy that you want. You're heart goes faster that belief
"Mom!!! Mom!!! Can I get it!!??"
"We'll see okay son?"

You never got the toy, you forgot about it once you see the cereal

You're standing there, eyes meet from across the play ground. There he is you're best friend. You run across to get the best of high fives that'll rule all high fives.

Well that hurt.

You see him talking to her. You start to wonder why you're in the room with them.
You question if all of this is your fault.
He leaves, you comfort her.
"It's okay mom. It'll be fine. He just needs to cool down for a bit."

You see her standing there. With some other guy, wondering if she noticed you yet. Here she comes act natural.
Crap you're stuttering while talking to her. This is not natural you idiot!!!

You're on the phone, telling her it's over.
Once you hang up, you go to her. You get held by her,
"Cry your eyes out, it'll be alright."
"Why does it hurt then mom?"

You see her. With someone else.

There's your friend from fifth grade. He used to be you're best friend. But time have changed you both.

You have a new best friend. She is nice, pretty, and beautiful.

crap...

You're with your best friend, watching a movie. An 80's movie. You put you're arm around her. She leans in... NAILED IT!!!

Excitement, joy, pain, infatuation, hurt, mending, love.

All of these are made possible by that wonderful idiot known as our hearts.

Hear me

Hear me. Hear me please, you've never heard my side. I want to be heard this time. All that I have done was listen to you and your problems, I've always listened to you, I never had the opportunity to tell anyone how I truly feel. So please just hear me out. I've been bottling it up all my life. And now I feel like it's the perfect time to tell you what's been happening in my life. But I need you to listen not just hear me but listen to me. I want to be able to know that you care about me. Please listen to what I have to say.